Life as a foreigner
It is definitely a different topic and I understand that everyone has a different opinion about it: it is my story, so please be understanding with my view. It was not easy for me but I chose this path and I am very happy that I did because I wouldn’t be here today, telling you about my experience. I need to give you a little bit of background info in order to understand the whole concept: after my parents got divorced, my mum decided to move to Germany with her partner so I got used to the “foreigner” fact quite early, I was used to not seeing my mum very often and taking care of myself when I was just 17. It was a hard decision for them to leave me on my own but it was necessary at the time because of some problems in our country which I do not want to dive into right now. So I’ve spent a few years going back and forth between Hungary and Germany and I knew that I wanted to explore, I want to experience different things other than my own country (which is beatiful, don’t get me wrong) but I had this urge to move, to do something different.
Since I was a little kid I have always had a very unique interest in learning new languages and English was one of them, I found it quite easy to learn as well so for me it was obvious that I wanted to search for a country where they speak English. My dream was to move to America which almost has happened but there was another path written for me.
After I’ve finished college I was looking for a job, ideally in tourism as that is my profession when I came across a job advertisement in Scotland. They were looking for someone who can live with them in their house, look after the kids, clean and ideally take care of the guests as they’ve had two cottages to rent as well. It was the perfect starting point for me, it has helped my English a lot, the whole experience has helped me see things differently and appreciate my relationships. It was not easy though: I didn’t know anyone, I was in a different country, very far away from my family and friends. I felt very alone.
I would lie if I said I didn’t cry at least once and questioned my decision at least a 100 times but I’m glad that I’ve done it, I’m glad that experience shaped me to the person who I am today. I’ve stayed there for 6 months, then moved back to Hungary.
A few months later another opportunity came and I was lucky enough to move to England this time, I’ve had help and found a job pretty quickly as well but not everything was sparkles and fairytale. After 3 months I was on my own again because things between me and my boyfriend didn’t go well so I had to move out. My former boss helped me a lot though so I found a room to rent, I lived with a Hungarian lady and her little boy.
How did I feel? I was okay, I wasn’t in a bad place or anything like that. I had a place to sleep, I had a job and I was in a different country. I began to make new friends and connections, but sometimes I couldn’t handle my money very well and I wasn’t focusing on myself enough. I was working a lot (I was a barista in a coffee shop), and walking 40 minutes there and back every day and somehow I just forgot to eat so I struggled with my weight a little bit. I was never that skinny before and I liked it but it was a big change for me, I looked different and I felt different as well: not healthy at all. Every time I went to visit my mum in Germany she told me to eat more, take care of myself but I didn’t listen until I met my husband. He has helped me a lot since we are together: I am happier and definitely more healthier then before.
And to answer some of your questions as well: it is definitely not easy, it is definitely not for everyone as it can be too much sometimes. You miss your old ways, you miss your friends and family and involuntarily there is a space between you and your family. I do miss my family and friends but I didn’t keep in touch with them so I don’t talk to them anymore but I made new friends here, I made a new life here for myself and I know that it is not just rainbows all the time as I have experienced the negatives as well. You miss the birthdays, you miss the Chritmas get together, you miss the weddings or big celebrations if you don’t go home too often but for me it’s only my grandma who keeps in touch with me, no one else from my family.
The other thing I’d like to add is: you’ll always be an outsider in a different country. People are going to be nice to you but sometimes they are not. I’ve had an experience in London when I was walking with my mum and her husband and a British lady decided that she’ll yell at us to go back to our own country. Some people have told me to go back to my country if I don’t like things, some people thought that I’m only here because of money or because I want a “green card” which is nonsense, this is not how things are work around here. I decided to move here, I decided to work my arse off because I’d like to build a future for myself and my husband who is yes, British, and we didn’t get married because of Brexit.
I have a little bit of fear of what’s going to happen if we have kids, if that kid goes to the nursery or school, and what if that kid is going to get bullied because of me, because of my origin but that is something for the future. Most of the people don’t look me down because I’m Hungarian, quite the opposite: now they’re surprised that I’m from a different country because they can’t tell the difference when I talk. I think that I have big opportunities here and my life is here now, I wouldn’t move back to Hungary as it would be weird for me. Hungary is always going to have an important place in my heart, the place where I grew up and made loads of memories and I love it but England is my home now.
I do hope that I’ve managed to answer to your questions and now you have some idea about living abroad but if you’d like to talk to me about it, feel free to message me here or on Instagram.