We are having a baby!


First of all, I’d like to say sorry for being so inactive and taking my time with writing this blog post but time is just flying and for now I am just enjoying the quiet times for as long as I can before baby arrives. But let’s see…

Last year in October I had my implant taken out because it expired (it’s only good for 3 years) and we decided that I won’t be taking anything, we will just wait and see how long it will take me to get pregnant. My doctor advised me that it can happen quickly but normally couples will wait around 6-12 months and it is very normal, so we were just taking it slow but my period was acting up a little bit after all those hormones. 2 months later I decided to buy the ovulation kit from Amazon to see if my body is actually working okay but for a very long time I was not ovulating at all. I guess my body needed more time to repair itself after being on contraceptives for 3 years, but on the 8th of January after my walk in the park I saw blood, only a light spotting so I thought it must be that silly period time again but decided to take a pregnancy test just in case and it was positive. It was such a crazy feeling that I cannot describe it with words.

Later that week I messaged my doctor asking what to do and she advised me to fill out a form online and a midwife will be in touch. I waited more than 2 weeks but nothing happened so I called the hospital and after a lot of phone calls I finally had an appointment set up with my midwife. If you are in the UK I would advise you do this as soon as possible, they might be too busy so you won’t hear back from them for a very long time. The same has happened to one of my friends, she did not hear back from a midwife for weeks.

A few weeks later I started bleeding (around 9 weeks), not too heavily and luckily without any pain but it was such a scary moment in our lives. My husband has called the hospital asking what to do in that situation, so they advised us to keep an eye on it for 2 hours, if it gets worse then go to the hospital, if it is not getting worse they’ll arrange an early scan for me as soon as possible. It did not get worse so we just waited for that early scan which happened 2 days later but I gotta tell you, I wasn’t hopeful at all. That day we found out that I was carrying non identical twins which was a shock! Both babies looked fine and they couldn’t explain the bleeding but it almost stopped so there was no concern really.

A week later I started bleeding again, this time there was pain as well so we decided to go straight to the hospital where the doctor said it is possible that I’ve miscarried. Luckily I didn’t but they found two little areas of possible bleeding, the babies were fine but since then I was so scared to go to the toilet because I don’t want to find blood.

About 2 weeks later we had our first official scan which is the 12 week scan where they make sure everything is okay with the baby or babies. One of them was absolutely fine but the other one was significantly smaller (about 1 week) and there was quite a lot of fluid around the head and tummy. The doctor told us it is very possible that the baby has Down-syndrome but they took a blood sample just to be sure. It came back as a high chance for Down-syndrome so we were given the opportunity to go to London and investigate it a little further. The doctor who looked at everything in London was a specialist and he made sure everything was okay: one baby was looking excellent but the other one didn’t look very good. It had a lump at the back of the head, which meant neural tube defect. The doctor couldn’t tell us how serious this was but he did say it is verly possible that the baby will not survive this, especially that they’re twins. We made a very hard decision to terminate it, giving the other one a chance to live. It was probably the worst day in our lives and the hardest decision we’ve ever had to make but I believe this was the right decision for us and for the babies as well. 

This is our journey and our decision, I’m not looking for any sympathy or any comments whatsoever but if you’d like to share your journey just message me on IG. If you have any questions feel free to comment.